Wood Green Shopping Centre
This spontaneous event brings seasonal joy to Wood Green Shopping City, destroys local businesses and leaves three dead.
I discovered this magical event by pure chance while desperately shopping for last minute Christmas presents in Wood Green Shopping City.
As I left TK Maxx (ten hot water bottles for £5. Result.) a warm orange glow caught my eye. Captivated, I walked towards the light. Reaching the gallery overlooking the atrium I witnessed a scene straight out of Dickens. People were gathered, traditionally dressed in Uggs and pyjama bottoms, glossy skin shining in the firelight, watching a majestic three-storey Christmas tree crackle to life.
We all stood, mesmerised by this wonderful, communal Christmas gift as the fire took hold. The ensuing incandescence then took on a hypnotic effect and no-one moved a muscle, not even a mouse, as we watched the fire jump from tree to shop frontage to Santa’s grotto.
There was the deep silence of respect for the scale and depth of this indoor pyrotechnic display – something at the time no-one thought Harringey Council could afford, let alone dare do – due to legitimate Health and Safety concerns.
An alarm went off – another cheer from the crowd. The fire marshals came running out screaming at everyone to leave:
“God! Jesus Christ! Why are you all still here? You have to leave! The fire is out of control. You’re all going to die! Jesus Christ.”
In the spirit of a true performance, everyone started boo-ing them, and shouting “He’s behind you” when the fire started licking at one unlucky fire-marshal’s flammable coat. The crowd laughed uproariously at that and then spontaneously began singing “Jingle Bells”
Before we knew it The Carphone Warehouse exploded and there was another cheer from the crowd.
As other shop windows started to implode with the heat and a few of the children severely bloodied from the splintering glass, there was a dawning realisation from the crowd that this was an actual fire and naturally our thoughts turned from the flaming tree to our loved ones, and the gifts we would now loot for them.
I got a wide screen TV, a sack of rice, and only minimal lung damage from the toxic smoke:
Best. Christmas. Shopping. Event. EVER: Five stars.
Due to extensive fire damage Wood Green Shopping City will be closed until Spring 2022
